I went to the doctor last night because I was paranoid about losing too much hair. Due to the damn F1 race and all the events that followed up to it, my hair was overstyled and exposed to all kinds of harsh agents and extreme pulling and tugging at it. I'm not exaggerating but I swear that because of all these harsh treatment, I've lost a great amount of hair.
Not to mention my accidental crash dieting last month, and the extreme stress I went through.
So the doctor gave me this hair tonic called MINOXI 5!! It came in a black box, with damn dodgy font on it.
But I trust my family doctor. So I guess I'm not too affected by the dodgy font.
For some reason I decided to read the instructions pamphlet, although it was something I didn't normally do. And I discovered that it was a product made in Israel. And I must say that I can really see the Israeliteness in the product after reading the pamphlet. The pamphlet actually sounded quite threatening, can you believe it? Lol!!
Lemme cite a couple of examples.
"
Cessation of treatment will likely lead to a renewal of hair loss and disappearance of the achieved improvement." They have already started threatening that if you stop using it, your hair will drop again. And this is only in the first paragraph.
"
While using MINOXI 5, blood, urine, kidney function and heart tests should be carried out." Cheebye it's just going to be on my fucking scalp! What's with all those tests?? Like the liquid on my scalp will somehow flow all the way into my kidney?
"
Whilst using this preparation you must be under constant medical supervision and be aware of changes in your general feeling and health. You must weigh yourself twice a week." Cheebye it's just my fucking scalp! I'm not signing up to be a suicide bomber or something! What general feeling and health all! (Baby says that perhaps users have to weigh themselves twice a week to see the gain in weight from hair growth. LOL! That effective huh??)
"
In addition to the desired effect of the medicine, adverse reactions may occur during the course of treatment with this medicine, such as: diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, dizziness, headaches and local irritation." This is pretty damn threatening to me. It almost feels like the cost for hair growth is too high!
More possible side effects stated -- "
Breathing difficulties, edema in various parts of the body, swelling of the face, lack of feeling in the feet, hands or face, changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, angina pectoris, weight gain, HAIR GROWTH IN OTHER PARTS OF THE BODY, severe skin reactions in the scalp area." What the fucking cheebye?? If this is not threatening I don't know what is okay? They make it sound like you're gonna fucking die if you use this product. I'd rather not have my hair grow back.
The part I found funniest. "
Do not take medicines in the dark! Check the label and the dose each time you take your medicine. Wear glasses if you need them." Wahahahahhahaha!!! Duh!!
Did I mention that there are random exclamation marks everywhere in the pamphlet behind random sentences? Like as if they are exclaiming those instructions to us. Haha!
Most terrorizing pamphlet I've ever read. But I trust my family doctor. So I'm gonna cross my fingers, and continue taking this hair tonic. Hopefully, I'm not going to have hair growing on my neck, or have an extra eyeball growing out on my toe or something.
P.S. No disrespect to Israel, or Islam, or anything along those lines intended. I'm only laughing at the pamphlet.
